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"What an idiot - how many 'types' of ladder are there?"

Advertising angst

Dan is in his first year at university, studying Magazine Journalism and Feature Writing. He enjoys sport and regularly attends gigs. Ideally, he hopes to specialise in music journalism.

Dan is sick to death of television advertising and wishes he could enjoy watching a film without every important moment being interrupted by detergent and cleaning products.

Dogs are traditionally described as 'a man's best friend'. However, in today's society I think it's safe to say that TV is a man's best friend and if that is the case, then television advertising is definitely man's worst enemy.

The first bit of tinsel being hung in the windows of the high street shops marks the countdown to Christmas. The problem is, it's only the start of October, you're still in shorts and you know that any day now you'll see the overly smug and cheerful face of Kerry Katona as she tucks into her Iceland Ready-Roast. Summer seems like a distant memory, which begs the question - does autumn even exist anymore?

Every parent dreads Christmas adverts when the toy of the year appears and they're pressured into buying it. This year it's a PS3 or a new Xbox.  Next year, who knows, a trip to the moon? That's when mum and dad long for the days of past, when they queued for hours to get that Buzz Lightyear figure that's now crammed in the loft somewhere collecting dust. At least it didn't cost a fortune.

And what else can be more annoying than when you're watching a film on ITV or Channel 4 and just as the main twist of the story is about to be uncovered, the screen cuts to a break and suddenly your face-to-face with 'Barry Scott' raving on about how 'Cillit Bang' can clean your pennies.  Do I really care?  Is anybody really sad enough to try 'The Penny Test'? What I'd much rather see advertised is, 'Brand New, Kitchen Gun' from the BBC's The Peter Serafinowicz Show. So after all those tiresome adverts, when the film resumes, you always get the feeling that you're a good five minutes further in and the whole atmosphere of suspense is ruined for the rest of the night. 

So whether it's badly dubbed European adverts selling the latest 'zit-zapper' or footballers promoting the latest soft drinks, adverts seem to me to be the blight of modern day television. Mind you, annoying as they are, adverts during daytime TV can provide some light relief from the constant drone of middle-aged women moaning about the latest celebrity fad, or the endless repeats of Jerry Springer and Maury on Living TV.

Still, you can't help but, feel the rage burning inside yourself when the woman from 'National Accident Helpline' comes on the screen telling you how she slipped over, sued everyone and anyone, and best of all, you can do it too. You'd think she'd spend the money on a decent haircut instead of possibly the worst box-fringe in the world! With a haircut like that, they were probably trying to trip her up so they didn't have to see her at work for a while.  And don't forget: "I was installing a fire alarm and was given the wrong type of ladder." What an idiot - how many 'types' of ladder are there?

"It seems that all daytime TV adverts can offer us is quick solutions to debt problems, cheaper car insurance or any excuse to sue someone. That's the overdramatic Americanised society we now live in, full of badly acted 'Injurylawyers4u' adverts and out-of-sync voiceovers."

It seems that all daytime TV adverts can offer us is quick solutions to debt problems, cheaper car insurance or any excuse to sue someone. That's the overdramatic Americanised society we now live in, full of badly acted 'Injurylawyers4u' adverts and out-of-sync voiceovers.

Even Ant & Dec's, 'Win The Ad's' competition can't change my mind. Every Saturday night one 'lucky' audience member gets the chance to run down a flight of stairs, get on stage in front of a million viewers and win anything shown in the commercial break of an ITV program shown earlier in the week. Four cars, a holiday, and some random toilet roll. Sorry, but I'm still unconvinced and if two cheeky Geordies can't sway me, nothing will.

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