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Commercial codswallop


Tacky chocolates

After dating mindless men, Jenny is surprised to have found herself in a happy relationship. Despite her love for fish, drinking pints and leaving mouldy cups of tea around the house, her boyfriend finds her habits strangely endearing. She's studying Writing, Fashion and Culture at university.

Valentine's Day is no good for any of us, whether we're single or loved-up. Jenny asks us to say a very firm "no" to the day of tackiness and commercial crap.

Valentine's Day. The two words shudder down every singleton's spine. And yes I have every right to rant about this even though I have a boyfriend. I still spit out the name of the day with rage.

I distinctly remember last year's Valentine's Day. I sat in my university halls watching Ghost and stuffing my face with an endless amount of chocolate, while my so-called other half sat down the pub back home with his mates, eyeing up the single ladies, no doubt. Needless to say it didn't work out for us.

I spent the Valentine's before that with my best friend as she cried on my shoulder about how much she missed her ex and how hard it was around this time of year. So I ask this: what crock came up with this lovey-dovey day? Let's all buy teddy bears bearing the slogans 'I Love You This Much!' and balloons with 'You're the One'. Or not.

All Valentine's Day does is leave the singles depressed, the couples who are seeing one another confused about how to celebrate it, and the long term relationships penniless. Let's face it, if you've been going out with your boyfriend or girlfriend for over, say, two years, you'd expect a big present now, wouldn't you? Those days in primary school when your childhood sweetheart bought you a pencil sharpener saying 'You're Mine' on it - making you feel like you were on top of the world - are long gone. If someone bought you a pencil sharpener for Valentine's now, you'd tell them where they could stick it.

It's most difficult for the couples who are still in that three-month honeymoon phase. What are we meant to buy for the other half? Frankly, if I bought my boyfriend a teddy bear saying 'I Love You Forever' after only dating for a mere two months, he would have run a mile - and quite rightly so.

Then there's the romantic meal. Oh please. The only meal you could get on Valentine's Day would have to be booked way in advance, and the cost of it would probably pay for a year's worth of food shopping.

"Ice cream and teddy bear factories around the world must be rolling around in our grudgingly given money but as The Beatles famously sung, Money Can't Buy You Love."

And finally, there are the singletons. Why must they be compelled to find their other half or be humiliated for not receiving any cards? Surely we all manage to function on a daily basis without the need for this commercial day? For many, when the day does arrive, the curtains are drawn, the TV's on and the ice cream comes out of the freezer.

Does anyone else smell a scam here? Why celebrate the day when you're with someone or despise the day if you're alone? Surely, if you're in a relationship you'd treasure every day and every moment when you're with that someone, and not spend a ridiculous amount on seedy flowers to prove how much you love them? Ice cream and teddy bear factories around the world must be rolling around in our grudgingly-given money but, as The Beatles famously sung, Money Can't Buy You Love.

Guys and girls, please take a stand. Say "no" to buying big, tacky heart balloons for your loved ones, extremely overpriced romantic Italian meals and to staying in and crying into your pillow.

Days like Valentine's Day can only leave our hearts broken or our purses empty. Britain's already known as the number one country for debt crisis, so let's not make it worse!

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