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Sara

Sara, 23, is a fashion journalism student. She's a complete planning freak who writes endless lists to keep everything in her head. She loves a good discussion about anything, but her passions are fashion and literature.

Sara has just about had it with Facebook and Myspace and thinks they bring out the worst in people.

Communicating on Facebook or Myspace is not about convenience. At least not if you own a phone, an e-mail address and/or a pen and paper (yes, postcards still exist). That message you casually sent to your friend wishing them happy birthday could have been sent via the phone, could it not? The reason it wasn't is because you're not really friends.

Friendships on internet communities are strange things. The best mate you've had for twenty years rubs shoulders with some guy you met at a festival. Many people have hundreds of friends including Britney Spears and a handful of unsigned bands desperate for publicity. During my short-lived stint on Facebook a guy who hated my guts in ninth grade requested my friendship. Did he really expect I'd happily be friends with someone who, when still at school, used to pull my hair and call me names (including one that rhymes with bore)?

And yes, I'm aware that you can block people from becoming your friend. It's one of many advantages of Facebook, apparently. But where do you draw the line? Are you going to block a neighbour you never spoke to but who weirdly remembers you ten years on? No, because that would be rude.

I'll tell you what else is rude: spying on people. Little did we know, of course, that we were all latent voyeurs waiting for the first opportunity to check up on what our friends were doing on Saturday night, but instead of being disgusted by the thought, we embrace it. What's wrong with knowing what your boyfriend has been up to with his mates, right? Nothing - if he feels distrust is one of the qualities he looks for in a girl.

A friend of mine just met his girlfriend through Myspace. When he described it, it reminded me of signing up on Ebay. You register, click around, find something you like and bid for it. According to him, his offer stood out because of the personal feel of his message. I guess that is the differencebetween bidding for clothes and people.

I am happy for him, by the way. I really am. It's nice they found each other. But there is something unnatural about the way it happened. Why couldnt they have just got drunk and hooked up in a bar like normal people?

"If you make someone happy by telling them you love them, does it matter whether its actually true?"

But it has become easier to acquire closeness over the internet. How could it not be? You can view someones pictures, follow their blog, read what other people have to say to them, and become friends with people you have never met. And that is the thing that gets to me most about internet communities; the false intimacy. The messages saying I love you and I miss you.

Maybe I'm reserved, but I don't go around  loving everyone I meet. Of course, my close friends know I care for them. So does my family and boyfriend. But one look at a Facebook profile and this attitude seems hopelessly old-fashioned.  

For this, I blame the internet. Before e-mail, we had to communicate via the phone or by meeting in the flesh (remember those days?). Letters were kind of ambitious alternatives, but they were sent occasionally. Obviously, these lunatic ways of keeping in touch had to end.

You may wonder why this is a bad thing. If you make someone happy by telling them you love them, does it matter whether it's actually true?

It does matter. Words, especially affectionate ones, are there to be treasured. Internet communities let us go ahead and abuse them, creating false relationships and complimenting people on what they have not achieved. Whats the point of friendships if they are built on false pretences?

Still, if you like hanging out on Facebookand Myspace, don't let me stop you (something tells me that would be kind of hard, anyway). Hey, whatever makes you happy. I just prefer to have friends who can poke me IRL if they really care.  

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