Over exposure
Question
I like to go out with my fly open or shirt tucked into my underwear and when women notice I get extremely exited and my heart beats really fast. Basically I love to embarrass myself in front of women.
I'm attractive and in good shape but I get such a thrill from it I just can't stop doing it. Please help me; I do want to stop because it's beginning to affect my life dramatically.
Answer
Clearly, you're aware of the embarrassing nature of the behaviour you describe. It must be frustrating to feel unable to stop it and the way it's affecting your life so dramatically must be upsetting.
It's impossible to make a diagnosis but this type of behaviour could be related to exhibitionism. Exhibitionism falls under the general category of paraphilias: abnormal or unnatural attraction. People may joke about such things but, in reality, exhibitionism is a very serious behaviour that can be frightening to the victim. Often it is only diagnosed and treated once the person experiencing it has been arrested for committing a sexually inappropriate act and the court has ordered assessment and treatment.
A clinical diagnosis is made only if the person's behaviour or desires cause significant distress or impairment in important areas of functioning. It is clear that many people have paraphiliac desires and practices (e.g. fetishes) that do not lead to problems either for themselves or others.
It is good you've acknowledged your behaviour, because this will enable you to seek any necessary treatment and support to meet your needs. The first step to seeking help would be to see your local doctor (GP). Your GP will be able to take into account all of the behaviour you've exhibited and explore support and treatment options. If it is exhibitionism that you're experiencing it can be managed with the use of cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT) or counselling. Speaking face to face to someone about very personal issues can sometimes feel too difficult and embarrassing but, please be reassured, anything you discuss with your GP will be kept confidential.
It's possible there are underlying problems or issues making you feel the way you do. You might like to consider thinking about different areas of your life and how you react to them. It may also be worth talking to a close friend or family member about your situation. If the prospect of talking to someone you know is too daunting for you and you'd like to talk through your behavioural issues before you approach your GP, you can talk, in confidence to SANELINE on 08457 67 8000. They will be able to give you the time and space to talk about how you're feeling, without judging you or telling you what to do.
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Question answered by SANE
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