College cliques
Question
I moved from my old school to college last year and since then I've pretty much lost contact with my old friends but I'm too shy to make new ones.
Wherever I look people seem to be settled and having fun in their groups and I just can't bring myself to try to go up to them and get to know them.
How can I overcome my insecurities? Are there any easier ways of introducing myself to new people? Any help would be appreciated.
Answer
Going from one stage of life to another is never easy. Add into the mix the challenge of succeeding academically and making new friends and you've got a practically Herculean task on your hands. It's no surprise, then, that you're having a hard time adjusting. Who wouldn't?
The thing to keep in mind is that despite appearances, not everyone at college is having an easy time. Although it may seem you're the only one who's feeling insecure and vulnerable, you are definitely not alone. Life is not one big party for everyone, even if it looks that way.
If you're shy, going up to people and introducing yourself is hard, so it's important to try and overcome this. If you can muster up the courage, you could scope out the other students in your class and see who looks nice, interesting or approachable. Then ask if one of them would fancy a drink after class or ask them if they can help you with an aspect of your work you're having problems with. For all you know, your future friend will be thrilled that you made the first move, and that they didn't have to.
You could also try a new hobby or try a sport that has always captured your attention. Once you get out there and start connecting with people, you'll find it a lot easier to get involved with others.
The point is, most, if not all, people feel shy at one time or another. It's normal, especially when you're in a new situation. If you meet up with some resistance at first, don't give up. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was success at college (or success anywhere, for that matter). If you don't sell yourself short, others won't either.
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Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
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