Fresher friends
Question
I'm going to be starting University in September and I'm worried about making friends when I get there. Is there any way to get over my worries and meet people?
Answer
It's absolutely normal to feel worried about making friends when you move to a new place or enrol at a new institution. You may not realise it, but everybody else will be feeling exactly the same.
When you want to make new friends you have to put yourself out there, even if you feel shy. Sitting in your room is the worst thing to do. I know it sounds scary, but you should try to force yourself to say hello to people at any opportunity. Get yourself to the union bar, coffee bar and any fresher event you fancy. These are all opportunities to make friends. Even the queue for registration is a good place to form friendships. If you smile and look friendly and interested, you'll put other people at their ease. Just introduce yourself and ask people lots of questions about themselves. Looking interested and being a good listener are really good tips, people like people who seem interested in them.
University is a fantastic place to make friends because it offers so many opportunities. You'll meet people who are interested in the same academic subject as you and people who have the same hobbies. Go to the freshers' fair and join the clubs you're interested in, whether it's music, beer, sports or politics. In these clubs you'll find other like-minded people who could be potential friends. Talking will come naturally because you'll know you already have lots in common, and so lots to talk about.
When you meet someone you get on well with, offer to swap your phone number or email address so you can keep in touch or invite him or her to go for a coffee or a drink.
The most important thing to remember is not to put pressure on yourself to make friends on day one. Give yourself a few weeks to get to know people properly and find out who you have things in common with and a basis for a lasting friendship. And don't forget, there's nothing to stop you keeping in touch with your old friends too. You can even invite them to come and stay for weekends.
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Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
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