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Question
I met a guy last year and fell in love with him at first sight. We've always got on really well together and recently we had a leaving do for a language course we were both on. At the leaving do we were hugging a lot and he kept suggesting we should go out sometime as friends. Since then we've spoken a lot on the phone and are getting closer and closer. The problem is, I'm a virgin and I really don't know if I should tell him I want to have sex with him? Should I ask him to be with me?
Answer
Hang on a minute... you might want to slow down and prioritise what's most important for you in this situation. It's great that the guy you've liked forages seems to like you as well. It's also great that you're getting to know each other slowly over the phone as this allows you to develop a good friendship before spilling over into romance.
So why do you want to rush from a possible first date immediately into losing your virginity? Although the two things are connected in that you fancy this guy like crazy and want to date him and maybe lose your virginity to him, the two things are also separate.
Losing one's virginity is something each of us needs to think about carefully as it's an important experience both physically and emotionally. You should think about whether it would be a mistake if you were to have a date with this guy and immediately jump into bed with him in order to lose your virginity. For one thing he might get the wrong impression and think you sleep around and for another you might be very disappointed in how he acts once the relationship becomes physical.
For whatever reason, some people do end up feeling differently towards friends they sleep with. So by all means go out with this guy if it feels right, but don't make losing your virginity to him your goal otherwise you may be sorry you did. Instead, let the romance and physical side of things blossom slowly and that way you should be able to hold onto the friendship as well.
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Question answered by Our Relationship Advisors
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