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Why were they unfaithful?

What type of person is likely to go behind their partner's back, and what are the reasons for cheating?

What does it mean to you?

Some people say that just thinking sexy thoughts about someone other than your partner is enough to describe you as unfaithful. But the most common definition is someone who is publicly committed to one partner, but who has a sexual relationship with another person. In a marriage or other long-term relationship, it's often described as an affair if it goes on for longer than one night.

Who is unfaithful?

Recent studies suggest that about half of all UK men in long-term relationships cheat on their partner at least once. Almost as many females are unfaithful too, although sometimes their motivation for straying may be different. Doctors estimate that about one in ten children born to married women are not the genetic offspring of the husbands.

Why some people cheat

These are some of the reasons, but beware of anyone who just uses them as excuses or justification for their behaviour:

  • Fear of commitment: The most common reason for this is plain old immaturity, but occasionally it points to deeper psychological problems.
  • Getting back at someone: This is often done to punish the other partner for being unfaithful.
  • Wanting to break up: Some people see being unfaithful as a way to get out of an old relationship, but they often don't stay with their new lover afterwards.
  • Boredom or unhappiness: Often, the relationship is not working well, things are too routine and predictable, or there are sex or communication problems. Some people are seeking affection or attention, while others go looking for sex.
  • Power trips: The unfaithful partner seems to think that they are entitled to have whatever they want, whenever they want it. They don't seem to care much about the consequences of their actions, or who gets hurt.
  • Insecurity: Someone who has low self-esteem and needs lots of approval to feel attractive can be flattered easily.


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