Netmate dos and don'ts

It's important to remember that you never really know who you're talking to online, and what their real motives are. So follow this guide on what not to reveal with new netmates.

Location

When saying where you are from be cautious, limit to a county rather than the exact name of the town or village, or use the nearest big city (London, Manchester). Don't give out your address/ school name/ place of work.

Phones

DO NOT give out your phone number. You may find yourself having to screen your calls, or being threatened or scared. If you want to talk on the phone, get the phone number to a payphone nearby, and arrange a time that you will be at that number.

Timing

If you want to meet up with people as friends or a potential relationship, make sure you feel comfortable about it. and don't rush in. Talk via email or instant chat, and then speak over the phone. After a safe period of time, when you have determined that they are sincere and legitimate, then you can safely give out your personal information.

Faces

If you're going to put your picture on the internet, you have no reason to believe it's going to stay where you put it. In fact, anybody can right click on an image and take it from a web site. Once you put it up, you have no idea where it's going. Always ask permission off anyone else in the pictures before putting them up.

Bragging

Don't do it, there is little point saying how much cash and famous mates you have (if it's true) as all you are doing is inviting scammers to rip you off. Limit how much information you give out about material things. Surely it is better that people like you for your personality alone. In the same breath don't believe all their bragging, trust your instincts.

Your username

This is the name everybody on discussion boards and chat sites associate with who you are. It is best to avoid names like GetSexHere or anything ending with "69" - they'll get you attention, but probably not the type you want.

Netiquette

Treat people with the manners you would if you were chatting in the street. Is your perfect friend/ lover the type who would try and have cybersex in a public chatroom on your first meeting?

Boundaries

Because of the informal nature of net meetings it is quite easy to lose all the usual inhibitions, and for those who are usually quite shy, the ease with which human contact can be made can be become both overwhelming and addictive. However there are downsides to this - smothering, con artists, further rejection (trolls, banter that goes too far).

Con artists and scammers are acutely aware that the attention they pay to a lonely, or isolated person can and will pay off richly for them. Endearing themselves as friends, lovers, mates, they can rob their victims until their welcome is worn out, and they move on.

Having said all this, the net is a great place to meet likeminded people, and make some great friends, so don't be too paranoid.