Anal play
An important part of lovemaking for some; a repulsive no-go area for others. Here's the lowdown on anal play.
What is anal play?
This can be any kind of sexual stimulation of the anus or rectum. It includes penetration of the anus with a penis, or a finger or sex toy, rimming (stimulating the anus with the tongue), and fisting (putting fingers or a hand into the rectum).
The statistics
- One in three gay couples do not have regular anal sex.
- Up to a third of straight couples have tried anal sex at least once.
The Law
Penetrative anal sex is legal in the UK between consenting adults (gay or straight) who are over the age of consent, i.e. at least 16 years of age (17 in Northern Ireland).
What's the attraction?
The anus is a very sensitive area, and has many nerve endings, so many people get great pleasure from this kind of stimulation. Some people find trying new things or breaking social taboos to be a turn-on, or like the idea of 'being naughty'. A few individuals are just pushing their luck, and are on a bit of a power trip, so perhaps they do not have their partner's best interests at heart. A large number of people just don't find the idea very appealing for a number of reasons, and this personal preference is just as valid.
Your partner
By all means ask your partner if it's something you'd like to try doing together, but remember that you must respect their decision 100% if they say no. Pressurising or threatening a partner to do something that they find unpleasant or degrading is completely unacceptable, and not part of a loving relationship.
Safety
The tissues of the anus and rectum don't have enough lubrication and are very delicate, so they can tear very easily. Because if this, roughness can cause great pain, and there is an increased risk of transmitting sexually transmitted infections. Use plenty of water based lubricant, and take things slowly.
For anal penetration use extra strong condoms, which will reduce your risk of HIV and other infections, and protect the foreskin. Let the person who is being penetrated control the speed of movement and the depth of penetration, at least to begin with. Damaging the anal sphincter (the ring of muscle that closes the anus) can sometimes cause faecal incontinence, so it is important to avoid forcing anything into the rectum, and should only be done with a trusted partner.
Unless you want an embarrassing trip to casualty, never use sex toys for anal play (i.e. butt plugs, dildos or vibrators, or 'improvised' toys) unless they are smooth, unlikely to break, free from sharp edges, and flared at the base. This is because they can damage the rectum and cause a painful spasm, or can slip right inside and be impossible to remove without medical attention.
Rimming (AKA anolingus or anolinctus) has the additional risk of transferring bowel bacteria such as E. coli to the mouth. The receiver should wash the area thoroughly, and the giver should use a dental dam (a sheet of latex available from sex shops) or a condom (cut open from end to tip and placed over the anus) to reduce this risk.
