Cybersex safety
Cybersex isn't as straightforward as it sounds - strange people are lurking and online 'friends' can turn nasty. But don't let that put you off - stay savvy with our safety tips.
Stay anonymous
"Cybersex can be a lot of fun but at the same time it's very easy to get sucked in to the whole false world of it. It can seem very real and that encourages people to be more honest because of the element of anonymity there," warns Emily Dubberley, editor of text-based sex site, cliterati.co.uk.
Follow these rules to keep your identity private:
- If you're using a webcam, position the camera so that the other person can't view your face;
- Set up a different persona that's in no way related to you and create a new account just for that purpose. Pick a word at random and use that for your cyber name rather than anything that can be a clue about who you are;
- Change your name and account regularly;
- Don't give out any personal details, including your mobile number, real name, where you live etc;
- Tell a close friend that you can trust what you are up to - if things start to get too much at least you'll have someone to talk to.
Be happy with who you are
"I went through a phase where I would rarely leave the house as I was so shy and that's how I started using the webcam a lot more. I think this is true of lots of young people who are shy and find it hard to socialise in the real world," says Leigh, 19.
- Many people use flattery as a way to boost their self-esteem, but people can insult you as quickly as they praise you, so it's best to be happy with your lot before you try out cybersex.
Set some boundaries
- Know your boundaries beforehand and decide what's acceptable to you and what isn't. Just because it's right for someone else it doesn't make it OK for you;
- Remember that people can turn. If you refuse to go along with a particular line of fantasy you might see another side to your new 'friend';
- If you don't feel comfortable, simply use the 'off' button - no one can force you to do anything you don't want to do;
- Don't let cybersex take over your life - yes it can be fun, but so can heaps of other things, so put a time limit on your cybersex activity - and stick to it.
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